you silly little person, you, saint valentine.

i always know the enchanting valentine’s day is upon us when my alarm clock goes off at 3:45am on the 3rd consecutive day, and the first thing i hear coming out of my mouth is a guttural fuuuuuck…….

note to my future boyfriends/husband: if you ever even THINK about buying me roses from 1-800-flowers on valentine’s day, i will hurt you. i will physically hurt you.





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